Kablammo!

So there I was, walking along the streets of Manhattan, minding my own business, when my progress was temporarily halted by a «don’t walk» indicator and the accompanying cross traffic. As was my wont, I went a few steps into the street, stepping past a bum who also happened to be waiting for the light to change. No sooner was I past him than I felt the bum shoving past me, trying to shoulder me out of his way. I didn’t feel like starting shit with the guy, so I just let him past me. “Maybe he’d just begun to move when I stepped past him,” I thought, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

As it turned out, the bum evidently had some kind of neurosis that prevented him from letting people walk past him. Once the traffic signal’s ominous ochre hand gave way to the stoic striding white man, I again tried to outflank the bum, only to have him quickly dart in my way so I couldn’t get past. Then some other guy tried to pass the bum on the other side, and was summarily faced with an impenetrable wall of bum. I managed to get past him a few times by getting him caught on phone booths or on pedestrians walking the other way, but he’d just do his best to stumble around whatever obstacles there were and dash in front of me again. I guess he just doesn’t like people walking in front of him.

I ended up crossing over to the other side of the street, passing him there, then crossing back a few blocks later. I expected the poor guy to come sprinting up the street in an attempt to stay in front of me, but I guess I was outside of his perceived threat radius or whatever. So be it.

Song of the Moment: «Four to the Floor» — Starsailor

1 Comment

• Tara says:

  September 28, 2003 at 0:16

  Damn funny stuff… damn funny stuff. I love people with neurosises… is that really the plural form…who knows… :)

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