Kablammo!

Well, fuck. Turns out I’ve been running from nothing for the past 8 weeks. Should that make me feel better or worse? I guess ‘indifferent’ is all I have left. Fuck, I sure feel like an idiot though. Big fucking idiot. I’ll accept the fallout from my string of atrocious decisions recently, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a goddamn smacktard.

Jesus mother of Joseph on a urine-soaked cross, I wish… I wish I had actually done something with this semester. I wish I felt some kind of concern — any kind of concern — about what’s to come in the next week or so. I wish this abominable emptiness would fucking leave me alone. I wish I could just go to sleep right now instead of taking two final exams and writing two late papers. I wish I’d realized how reasonable people in general can be. I wish I’d registered for next semester’s classes when I was supposed to. I wish I knew what the fuck to register for. I wish somebody’d reached me a hand as I sank like a stone.

Manufacturing final, here I come.

Song of the Moment: «Sonata #2 “Funeral” in B Flat minor, Op. 35» — Frédéric Chopin

4 Comments

• Mike Sudano says:

  December 10, 2003 at 5:38

  …and I thought I was the only one. WTF is going on? This happened to me the same time last year too…

  Reply
• P-Mack says:

  December 10, 2003 at 9:32

  Dude, I’d have reached you a hand, but really, such a force as I exert would have a minimal y-component. But yeah, like I’ve commented previously, I’m always here if you need sympathy and/or flagellation.

  Reply
• Marika says:

  December 11, 2003 at 10:19

  I love you Mart; don’t be sad. Good luck with your exams!!

  Reply
• Arne says:

  December 12, 2003 at 2:43

  I think I have something that might make you feel better…how about

  

  Reply