Kablammo!

In honor of finally picking up the piece of paper yesterday that I occasionally struggled so hard to earn, and in honor of the fact that my parents evidently started subscribing to Harper’s while I was away, comes an idiotlist that’s designed to rip off the style of Harper’s justifiably famous Index. I suppose this is just thinly-(or non-)veiled bragging. But here it goes.

• Number of final exam essay questions answered in haiku: 1
• Number of final exams slept through: 2
• Average grade received for courses where the final exam was slept through: B
• Ratio of F grades received to semesters on the scholastic honors list: 3:4
• Final cumulative GPA: 3.4
• Minimum number of classes or exams attended still drunk from the night before: 15
• Number of ADoM victories: 3
• Number of explicit references made to Pink Floyd lyrics in papers on topics not pertaining to Pink Floyd: 2
• Months elapsed between fulfillment of all graduation requirements and degree being formally granted: 10
• Number of those months spent in Estonia: 9
• Number of courses taken with Professor Alan Wolf: 1.5
• Number taken with Professor Jesse Wolf: 3